Hutch gets drunk a lot in tags
#NSFW
So this is apropos of nothing, but I noticed that in quite a few tags, Hutch appears to be tipsy, if not outright sloshed. We all know he loves his beer, but it’s only in the tags where he seems to be drunk, I guess because they’re off duty.
This observation isn’t particularly slashy (but I will make it so), and it’s probably not even interesting to most people other than me, but hey, it’s my blog.
Here, have a look:
Starsky’s Lady (Season 2, Episode 39)
In the most beloved and best-written tag of the series, Starsky & Hutch sit on Starsky’s kitchen floor two weeks after Terry’s death, drinking beer, playing Monopoly, reminiscing about Terry and opening her gifts, as they both get increasingly teary-eyed and sentimental. Aww. Hutch has two mostly empty beer bottles and an empty mug. Starsky has one beer bottle and a mug of beer that’s half-empty.
In a hilarious bit, Hutch is noticeably drunk and adorable as he tries to convince the person on the other end of the phone at the Vancouver Lions football office to let them try out as football players. There is probably nothing inherently slashy about this scene, unless in your headcanon you think they’re gonna get it on once the candles burn out. After all, Hutch is probably going to sleep over, since he’s drunk and it’s after midnight.
Starsky & Hutch are Guilty (Season 2, Episode 45)
In the tag of the season 2 finale, S&H have gone back to Starsky’s apartment late at night to: Watch TV? Ogle Starsky’s Playboys and jerk off next to each other on the sofa? Jerk each other off? Make wild, passionate love? All of the above? when they discover that someone has broken into the apartment and stolen the magazines along with Hutch’s prized tennis racket.
If you watch carefully, you’ll see that this scene seems to take place late at night because it’s dark outside, both guys are tipsy, and Hutch yawns conspicuously as he leans against the bookcase in the bedroom doorway, looking like he’s so tired he can barely stand up and really wants to just head for the bed. Did you notice that most of this scene takes place in or near Starsky’s bedroom, BTW?
Ballad for a Blue Lady (Season 4, Episode 81)
In this tag, in an episode directed (and co-written) by Paul Michael Glaser, the guys sit squashed on a bench in Hutch’s greenhouse in their usual shoulder-to-shoulder way, as Starsky pretends to read the paper while Hutch talks dirty to his plant.
Hutch seems a little too over-eager in this scene, and we see he’s been drinking beer. He’s very exuberant throughout, in much the same way as he is in the tag of Sweet Revenge, when he’s most definitely drunk. So he’s probably tipsy in this scene, too. Maybe that’s why he confuses his plant for Starsky.
Sweet Revenge (Season 4, Episode 88)
In the tag of the positively delightful series finale, Hutch is not only tipsy, he’s drunk off his ass. When Starsky mentions that he’s taken four painkillers, Hutch responds, “Well, we’re even!” and then proceeds to laugh hysterically at his own joke. Does that mean he drank four beers before driving to the hospital? Bad Hutch, driving drunk! Then they drink wine and get even more sloshed. Since Hutch can’t exactly sleep in Starsky’s hospital bed once it gets soaked, it’s a good bet he drives home even more drunk then before. Bad, bad Hutch! I will need to slap you silly and punish you by removing your wet clothes, slowly and erotically. Shhh -don’t tell Starsky.
Actually, in going over the tags for each episode, I noticed that Starsky & Hutch drink A LOT. Like, in Texas Longhorn, they drink mugs of beer at Huggy’s Restaurant. In Pariah, they drink the banana daiquiris that Starsky serves (but boo! they have girlfriends in the scene). In Snowstorm, they eat dinner with Captain Dobey at Huggy’s and drink from huge-ass mugs of beer. In Death Notice, they toast their wine glasses (swoon!). They have wine in Lady Blue. They drink some type of beverage at the jazz club in Losing Streak that I’m guessing isn’t Coca-Cola.
Oh no, you guys, I’m beginning to worry that Starsky & Hutch might be alcoholics! BTW, you know that alcohol affects people’s inhibitions, right? And that this can manifest itself in more promiscuous sexual behavior. But I’m sure that’s just a coincidence.
Yes- I find the quantity of beer fascinating too. At least once – and I think more often – we see Hutch going straight to the fridge when he gets home. Starsky has a beer in Huggy’s in Pariah when the others are having coffee. And I do wonder whether Hutch’s self destructive behaviour with IA in H4M1 is at least partly caused by the pint of brandy S made him drink on an empty stomach before 7 in the morning! I know it was medicinal- but that was a BIG tot. And he drank it without the obligatory cinematic grimace to indicate that it was medicinal. From a slash perspective I like the idea that H is so bottled up (no pun intended) and repressed that after a few drinks he gets high and goofy to stop himself saying/doing anything to S he thinks he might regret in the morning. To add a complete downer (sorry) I wonder if it was possible that Soul, who famously had alcohol issues, might have actually been drunk sometimes? It could explain the OOC behaviour…
Can you address TV’s-most-obvious-chain-smoker-not-smoking next?🤣There’s that fab out take where his cigarettes fly out of his shirt pocket during an action scene….
May I add the tag of Huggy Can’t Go Home to the list? They’re all pretty drunk in that, (3 on a bed in Huggy’s upstairs room?) but Hutch is laughing like a jackass and given to exaggerated motions, not to mention the “if I do it veerrry carefully no one will know I’m plastered” salting of his beer. (PMSing there, Blintz?)
Sure, thanks!