What if Kira tried to redeem herself in the tag of Starsky vs Hutch?

Let me begin by saying that I despise Kira as much as anyone, but I’ve been analyzing this episode, and particularly the tag, for a long time, and after seeing the recent Aaron Sorkin film “Being the Ricardos,” I began to wonder if maybe we’ve been looking at the tag all wrong. Because maybe instead of inviting Starsky & Hutch to The Pits to tell them which one of them she’s chosen, what if Kira’s actual plan is to get S&H back together?

So what does the I Love Lucy biopic have to do with Starsky vs Hutch? The film references a particular episode of the show where Fred and Ethel Mertz have a big argument and temporarily split up, and Lucy comes up with a scheme to get them back together by asking each of them (separately) to come to dinner.

When each arrives at Lucy and Ricky’s apartment, she tells them she’s fixed them up on a blind date, and they’re forced to sit next to each other during dinner. By the end of the ep, the two lovebirds have made up and are back together.

Do you see where I’m going with this?

I Love Lucy wasn’t the only show to do this storyline. It’s a popular TV trope.

And I think the tag of SvH just might play on this trope, but with a little twist.

Let’s review:

Kira tells each guy to meet her at The Pits, but doesn’t tell them that she’s also invited their partner.

In the freeze frame at the end, when the guys have made up and walk out with their backs to Kira and arms around each other, Kira’s big poofy head is front and center, and she has a curiously satisfied expression on her face which I could never figure out the meaning of until now.

It’s because she believes her plan to get the guys back together worked as intended.

But unlike the I Love Lucy episode where Fred and Ethel have no idea they’re being setup, the twist here is that Starsky & Hutch have figured it out beforehand, since they’ve already discussed it with each other and made up off-camera. They only pretend to still be mad at each other when they arrive at The Pits.

Update 3/9/24: I actually now believe that S&H *didn’t* discuss it and apologize to each other off-camera prior to the tag, because of what is written in the script. I have the revised second version of the script, and in it, the guys make up with each other and come up with their Shylock speech after they arrive at the Pits (while still mad at each other) but before Kira gets there.

So Kira has been a tiny bit redeemed at the end since she tries to get them back together, although S&H have already secretly gotten back together without her help. Why? Because they don’t need a third party to do that.

Now, I’m sure it’s a total coincidence, but when Starsky & Hutch walk out with their arms around each other, both wearing black leather jackets, it’s remarkably similar to the scene where Fred and Ethel have reunited and are wrapped up together in Fred’s black coat.

But getting back to Kira, don’t think I’m letting her off the hook entirely, because she still has several questionable actions in the episode.

Besides the fact that she sucks as a cop and lied to Starsky and manipulated him, pretending to be serious about him in the scene where he’s at her house helping to hang plates on the wall and she doesn’t bother to mention that she’s banging his best friend on the side, she also makes it all about her feelings when Starsky walks in and finds Hutch walking out of her bedroom.

When the guys start fighting in her house, she screams at them to leave. I have a real problem with her behavior in this scene, because she sees how hurt and upset Starsky is, but she doesn’t care that he’s upset and doesn’t apologize to him, because it’s all about how she feels. Bitch, nobody cares how you feel, just STFU.

Just imagine how Starsky felt as he drove away from her house. He’d have probably been in tears from the double betrayal. Poor woobie. 😢

So anyway, fuck her and the horse she rode in on.